Thursday, June 7th, marks the five year anniversary of my Nana Pat’s passing. Each year, I have approached this day with dread, stirring back up all the emotions that I felt leading to her death. Each year, I have noticed the blaring, gaping hole of her missing presence. Each year, I have mourned. I have tiptoed around the situation, not wanting to bring up mine or my family’s hurt. Each year, I have reflected on all that she has missed in my life. Each year, I have willingly placed myself in darkness, where lies about God’s goodness can be spoken over me.
Not this year.
This year, I am choosing to see the smile in the cup. This year, I am shaking off these chains. I am rising from the ashes and dark, and I am rejoicing. I am choosing, this year, to delight in the life and legacy that my grandmother left for all. This year, I’m walking freely into the light.
After her passing, I felt empty and lacking in all of the love that she poured on me, but the Lord revealed a sweet truth:
The love that I, and everyone else, experienced in my Nana Pat was a living, breathing example of His love. The love that she loved others with was His love. She surrendered her life and He willingly filled her up with His love to pour out into the world.
How sweet to know that we have a Father who loves us with such sweet care, that He even handpicks and equips people in our lives to point back to how He lavishly adores us!
Many of us have lost people we loved. It is always incredibly difficult, whether it is expected or unexpected. In the next week, I will post each day about something I will do in order to celebrate and learn from my grandmother’s life. I will view her life as a gift and offering from the Lord for a season. I invite you to learn more from my Nana Pat, but to also think of how you can learn and celebrate those whom you have loved. Rather than sitting in our darkness alone, let’s venture into His light together. Let’s bask in the smiles hidden within our cups.